"Cosas que me DEBERÍAN avergonzar..."

Have you ever thought what to be ashamed means? It means to feel shame, right? And, what is shame? Well, it is generally defined as a feeling that is unpleasant... It is said that we usually experience that kind of unpleasant feeling whenever we do or experience something wrong or dishonest, right? But now, who defines what is wrong or dishonest? Do we individually define situations or behaviours as being embarrassing or do we do it as a society? 

In my humble opinion, I think that this is another social construction. In other words, as we have seen in some subjects of our Teacher Training Course, it is a product of human choices rather than laws. These constructions determine most of the ways in which individuals and groups participate inside the social life. The reason why this happens is that we tend to act on the interpretations and knowledge of several constructions. So, taking this into account, we can say that we may feel ashamed of different things depending on our social context.

Now, this makes me think in dynamism or change, doesn’t it happen to you as well? However, we should take into account that these constructions not only change in accordance with the social context - as I said above - but also in accordance with generations. Hence, we may say that these constructions are part of ongoing processes. Thus, for example, if you got a 4 in an exam in 1999, your parents would have felt ashamed of you and you would have felt in the same way. But, if you get a 4 in an exam nowadays, it is most likely that your parents feel ashamed of your teacher and even blame her for giving you a 4 rather than feeling ashamed of you... Another example I can give you, but now related to cultures, is the way in which a successful woman is seen in different contexts. It is not the same a successful woman in Argentina than in Pakistan. It is most likely to find a man in Argentina feeling proud of a successful woman than in Pakistan. The latter country is a chauvinist one so, most men there would feel ashamed of a successful woman and even reject her.   

When I first bumped into this image I read it and instantly thought about social constructions but then I started thinking about personalities and wondering whether they are related to these social constructions or not. After some minutes of deep thinking I came to the conclusion that they are related to them but they may not coincide... By saying this, I am also stating that I still believe in individuality inside society, something that I find great! After that I tried to imagine the kind of woman that would say that: “...Así que busqué a mi sinvergüenza interna. Y le costó salir un poco, le daba vergüenza. Pero acabó sacándome a bailar, haciéndome dúo al cantar, saliendo conmigo a la calle con la cara sin lavar, animándome a hablar, a ignorer cosas que me deberían avergonzar...” 

And, the woman that appeared in my mind lived in a very oppressive and chauvinist society... She was a very introverted woman who knew very well how to be invisible and in that way, accepted. She knew how to adjust to her society but that didn’t mean that she accepted it. She knew how a woman was supposed to dance, very elegant and quiet, always letting the man be in charge of her movements. She knew how important make-up was; she was supposed to look fantastic all day long no matter her feelings or moods... She knew that a woman was a beautiful decoration or gift which looked better if in silence... But she was actually pretending that she knew it until one day she gave up pretending and decided to free herself up!!! This woman started to be proud of being a woman, not ashamed. Proud of dancing as she wanted, looking as she pleased and speaking her beautiful mind!

I strongly believe that we shouldn’t be ashamed of anything unless that thing hurts somebody; that would be the only exception... But, we just have to feel as free as possible and enjoy it.

Thanks for reading me

Andy